Little expectations

Today all day, I waited.

Carried around a quarter vodka

Thinking I would drink behind a soft rain

by my bedroom window

as I would listen to some music

and probably smoke a joint afterwards

then listen to more music, 

and all the while

a light rain would fall.

I was hungry for it

the whole day

I watched the sky during my smoke breaks in office.

Thinking it would rain.

Waiting for it to rain.

By the end of the day

as I got home

through two buses and a crowded train.

The traffic screaming in my face

cruel and loud, with yellow lights

I went mental, temporarily

looking here and there

bewildered, broken and wide eyed

in the middle of the street.

My hands touched the quarter vodka

to be in touch with reality.

I walked into a home

which by the days is full of worries

and by night full of cockroaches

running around, brave ballsy survivors

probably mutated

but there was no rain.

I waited.

Emptied the quarter vodka.

Smoked the joint.

Masturbated.

Washed up

entered my room

and put my head down

to a sound of very light rain

playing like symphony

against an orange sky.

Never expect

from nature or people or yourself

something you badly need.

instead just hope

and see yourself surprised.